Sacred Scarred

Balancing Community and Solitude

Let him who cannot be alone beware of community...
Let him who is not in community beware of being alone.
~Deitrich Bonhoeffer

Jesus, in Mark 1:29-39 demonstrates and interesting balance between community and solitude.  He is with his community (James, John, Peter, Andrew, the disciples), he ministers to his extended community (Peter's mother-in-law), he is almost forced into ministering to the community at large (the whole town), he retreats to a solitary place with God, and then he engages with his community (the disciples) and reaches out into other communities (nearby villages).

Parker Palmer writes,

But most of us in our daily lives exist neith in solitdue nor in community, but somewhere in between.  We sacrifice both forms and contest of truth. Seldom are we truly alone, and seldome are we truly in relationship to others; This is the vacuousness of mass society and mass education: our lives alternate between collective busyness and individeaul isolation, but rarely allow for an authentically solitary or experience.  In this halve-live dmiddle ground, our solitude is loneliness and our attempts at commuiny are fleeting and defeating  We are alone in the crowd, unable to touch the heart of love in ourselves or to touch others in a ways that draw out the heart.

I think we can balance community and solitude without sacrificing both.

When was the last time that you truly engaged in solitude?  Do you exist in the half-lived middle ground where solitude is loneliness?

When was the last time that you truly engaged in community?  Do you exist in the half-lived middle ground where community is fleeting/defeating?

Changing the World

Was reflecting this morning on some of the things that my cell talked about last week in regards to what they value in a community of Jesus followers...we talked about their past experiences (good and bad) and dreamed about what we want to be as a cell.  Check out their list (not everyone in my cell is even a follower of Jesus, but they know what they value)...

-  grace
-  personal connection with God
-  interaction
-  giving to others
-  the Bible in a proper context
-  room for people to work through their process
-  forgiveness of failures/faults
-  willingness to question "normal" ways of following Jesus
-  history (tradition) in a proper context
-  Jesus being open to everyone
-  excitement
-  relationships
-  acceptance

We talked about creating a place where these values were present and we talked about changing the world as a result.  We bookended our time with this prayer...

The Christopher Prayer
Father, grant that I may be a bearer of Christ Jesus, Your Son.
Allow me to warm the often cold,
impersonal scene of modern life with Your burning love.
Strengthen me by Your Holy Spirit
to carry out my mission of changing the world
or some definite part of it for the better.
Despite my lamentable failures,
bringhome to me that my advantages
are Your blessings to be shared with others.
Make me more energetic in setting right
what I find wrong with the world instead of complaing about it.
Nourish me in a practical desire to build up
rather than tear down,
to reconcile instead of polarize,
to go out on a limb rather than crave security.
Never let me forget that it is far better to light on candle
that to curse the darkness,
and to join my light, one day, with Yours.
Amen.

We meet for the 3rd time tomomorrow night - I'm excited.

Individuality Eclipsed

Our new cell met last night for the first time.  Four of us got together to learn about each other and about Jesus.  We did both.  It was good.

We talked a lot about our own tendencies to over-emphasize "figuring out God's will for my life", realizing that we far too often miss out on what God is doing in the present in order to figure out the future.  Perhaps (we concluded), God would rather have us be faithful to the present than stress over "his will".  And perhaps we are way too focused on ourselves.  We also talked about the role of community in determining God's call and whether or not we personally gave a community of people the authority to be the voice of Jesus in our lives. 

We left pondering this Richard B. Hays quote...thought I'd share it with you...

The community is the primary addressee of God's imperatives. If the biblical story focuses on God's design for forming a covenant people then the primary sphere of moral concern is not the character of the individual, but the corporate obedience of the church. Paul's formulation in Rom 12:1-2 encapsulates the vision: "Present your bodies [somata, plural] as a living sacrifice [thysian, singular], holy and well-pleasing to God. And do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…." The community, in its corporate life, is called to embody an alternative order that stands as a sign of God's redemptive purposes in the world. This is the concrete social manifestation of the righteousness of God. The coherence of Paul's ethical teaching comes into focus only when we understand that he is consistently formulating the ethical mandate in ecclesial [church] terms, seeking God's will not by asking first, "What should I do?" but" What should we, as God's people, do?"

Relationships in Retrospect

I have found that sometimes, it is difficult to appreciate relationships fully in the midst of them.  Oh sure, I love and appreicate my wife (and tell her so as often as possible) - but I'm with her on a daily basis and so I'm unsure if I appreciate our relationship fully.  I treasure the relationships that I have with my friends - but they are in my life every day and our friendships are constantly evolving - this is interesting and fun and difficult - but I don't have a full or complete picture ever.

Many people only realize the depth of relationship in the midst of loss.  They appreciate because they no longer have.  I think this is legitimate.  It's not to say that the death of a loved one is the only way to realize full appreciation (there are other separating forces) - but it is to say that separation from relationship awakens one to a sense of loss which often leads to a deep appreciation for the one you are separated from.

On a small scale, I don't mind all that much having to travel for work on occasion.  Sure, it pulls me away from my wife and daughter and dog, but that separation gives me space to reflect on all they mean to me. 

On a larger scale, there are relationships that I truly appreciate only now that I no longer have them.  Take my relationship with my college roommate, for instance.  John and I were great friends in college.  I didn't think very much of it - we enjoyed school, we enjoyed life, we enjoyed living with one another.  I guess I always assumed that we'd just stay in touch all of our days. This has not been true.  He came out to be in my wedding, I went out to his, he sends us a Christmas card featuring his ever growing family every year, and we met in a bar in Indiana last May to catch up for a few hours.  That's it.  We're not in relationship - not like we were for four glorious years.  And though I regret this to a degree, mostly I just appreciate the time that we had.  I truly love and appreciate what our relationship did in the formation of who I am.

I think Jesus' friends and followers got this.  They had Jesus right there with them.  But it wasn't until separation occured that appreciation dawned.  The Gospels, the epistles - at times they read like pure appreciation for the One who had gone before.

We looked at this passage at our public meeting over the weekend.  Peter writes these words.  Peter who did not recognize or appreciate what was going on at the Transfiguartion (see Luke 9:29-36), appreciated Jesus much later - after he was gone.

We did not follow cleverly invented stories when we told you about the power and coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, but we were eyewitnesses of his majesty. For he received honor and glory from God the Father when the voice came to him from the Majestic Glory, saying, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased." We ourselves heard this voice that came from heaven when we were with him on the sacred mountain.

And we have the word of the prophets made more certain, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts. Above all, you must understand that no prophecy of Scripture came about by the prophet's own interpretation. For prophecy never had its origin in the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.  (2 Peter 1:16-21)

Telos - Your End

Ephesians 4:7-16 (NETBible)

But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of the gift of Christ. Therefore it says, “When he ascended on high he captured captives; he gave gifts to men.” Now what is the meaning of “he ascended,” except that he also descended to the lower regions, namely, the earth?  He, the very one who descended, is also the one who ascended above all the heavens, in order to fill all things.  It was he who gave some as apostles, some as prophets, some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, that is, to build up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God – a mature person, attaining to the measure of Christ’s full stature. So we are no longer to be children, tossed back and forth by waves and carried about by every wind of teaching by the trickery of people who craftily carry out their deceitful schemes. But practicing the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into Christ, who is the head.  From him the whole body grows, fitted and held together through every supporting ligament.  As each one does its part, the body grows in love.

Typepad was experiencing technical difficulties yesterday.  As a result, I lost a much longer post on my thoughts about Ephesians 4:7-16 (the topic of our Public Meeting on Sunday).  Let me sum up the Public Meeting at least (I don't have time to repost all of my thoughts)...

Ephesians 4:7-16 

Overall, this section of Ephesians talks about our "end", our telos.  Since God's grace is so great (Ephesians 1-3), so what?  The "so what" question points to our telos.  And here it is...

...until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God – a mature person, attaining to the measure of Christ’s full stature...

Our telos in Christ is knowing God and living in Jesus - everything we do should lead to this end.  The question is how do we do that?

First, we do that by living incarnationally. 

Jesus lived incarnationally...he (who has now ascended) descended to the earth to live incarnationally...

...Therefore it says, “When he ascended on high he captured captives; he gave gifts to men.” Now what is the meaning of “he ascended,” except that he also descended to the lower regions, namely, the earth?  He, the very one who descended, is also the one who ascended above all the heavens, in order to fill all things...

We are to be an incarnation of grace.  Jesus gave us a portion to give...Jesus gave us an important role in order to live incarnationally...

...It was he who gave some as apostles, some as prophets, some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, that is, to build up the body of Christ...

Second, we do that (live out our telos) by forming an alternative society.

Life in the church is building a culture that release the missional imagination of the people of God.

...So we are no longer to be children, tossed back and forth by waves and carried about by every wind of teaching by the trickery of people who craftily carry out their deceitful schemes. But practicing the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into Christ, who is the head.  From him the whole body grows, fitted and held together through every supporting ligament.  As each one does its part, the body grows in love...

We are a diverse set of people living out our telos as we move together toward a common telos.

My telos is to know God and live in Jesus.  I do this by living incarnationally through exercising my pastoral gifts and by being part of the formation of an alternative society that continually releases God's missional imagination for this world as we move together toward our common telos (the final establishment of the Kingdom of God).

Missional Living

If you haven't noticed, I've been really toying with the idea of missional living.  What does it mean to embody the Kingdom of God in the context of community? 

More and more I'm convinced (that's my way of saying, I'm convinced) that we cannot simply sit within our church walls and expect the values of the Kingdom to trickle-down to our neighbors, country, and world...it doesn't seem too far out there for Jesus to expect us (his followers) to be the incarnation for our neighbors, country, and world...

But here's the rub...when we're talking about missional living, we're talking first and foremost about identification - and we (as the Church) haven't yet learned how to identify.  A look at the incarnation of Jesus directs us to the fact that Jesus identified with the poor, the maginalized, the ordinary scum of the earth.  Does the Church identify with the "least of these" the way that Jesus identified? (by becoming one of them...a poor homeless man)

The answer is an overwhelming "no".  And we lie to ourselves if the answer is anything but "no". 

Why?  Because...

Followers of Jesus aren't about to sell their possessions and follow Jesus when they are convinced that they can follow Jesus and hold on to those possessions.  Followers of Jesus aren't about to be concerned about the interests of others when their own interests take up enough of their time.  Followers of Jesus aren't going to be practicing pure and undefiled religion when they're convinced that religion is personal has nothing to do with others.  Followers of Jesus aren't about to become obedient to the point of death when Jesus has already died to take their place.  Followers of Jesus aren't about to be followers of Jesus when they can settle for being Christians.

Jamie at (e)mergent voyageurs posted his thoughts on what it takes to be a missional community - he writes...

Above all, the idea of what it means to be community is the most challenging. While there is a great deal about being community that can be explored through the ideas and values of how we relate, we rarely genuinely explore the implications these values have on the nitty-gritty of every day life. Even when it is explored, it is even more rare for people to make the radical changes that would, in my opinion, best embrace the missional dynamics.

As I have explored in previous blog posts, the idea of intentionally rooting our lives and homes in specific neighbourhoods is, for me, an important (even essential) missional focus that needs to be embraced by more Christian communities. Too often people who do this are seen as admirable anamolies rather than the natural product of pursuing our missional responsibility and calling as the church.

My wife & I have followed this calling, albeit awkwardly and with difficulty into one the of abandon places of the urban world, an inner city neighbourhood. However, I am not suggesting that an urban calling is the only way to be missional. By no means! While I genuinely believe that a significant number of Christians should reclaim these lost regions, and while I find it offensive how wildly Christianity in the West is equated with white middle-class suburbia, I also know that missionality can be faithfully pursued anywhere. However, without question, too many of us are using this fact to justify our unwillingness to ask and/or respond to God's call to these places.

This is not a call for a random movement of disconnected individuals, but rather something that, against our cultural tendency, should be a communal movement. This requires that we begin to recognize that the majority of missional living will find expression outside the walls of the church. If we restrict our pursuit of missional community primarily to our Sunday (and, perhaps Wednesday night) gatherings, we miss the vast majority of what true missionality and true community are all about.

I am not in anyway trying to discredit any missional community that has been expressed within the church walls. These are exciting manifestations of what could and should be. Rather, I am calling us to ask ourselves how deep our commitment to pursuing missional community runs. Take some time right now and ask yourself if you are genuinely willing to ask the question of whether or not you would uproot your life as you know it to reroot it elsewhere, both in respect to geograph and in respect to living our lives together as communities (as oppose to disjointed individuals who relate).

As I said earlier, I question whether this is fair or realistic. For years I have advocated this kind of shift, but have seen saddingly few people even consider such a change, even for a short-term. Am I being unfair? Do you believe missional community requires this level of intentional living in such a radical and (possibly) disruptive way? I genuinely want your take, so let me know.

Does missional community require a crazy (out of our minds nuts) level of intentional living in such a radical and (possibily) disruptive way?  Yes, Jamie, yes it does...Jesus thought so...let's follow him.

The Neighborhood

The Word became flesh and blood,
and moved into the neighborhood. 
We saw the glory with our own eyes,
the one-of-a-kind glory,
like Father, like Son,
Generous inside and out,
true from start to finish.

John 1:14 (The Message)

I didn't get a single minute of sleep last night.  I can blame it on caffeine, I can blame it on getting too much rest on Wednesday while I was sick, but the truth is...I was up because I couldn't get the image of Jesus moving into the neighborhood (the incarnation) out of my head.  I was shook up by these words...

The cross of Christ is both the symbol of our atonement and the pattern of our discipleship.  Today, many who name the name of Christ have removed themselves from human hurt and suffering to places of relative comfort and safety.  Many have sought to protect themselves and their families from the poor masses for whom Christ showed primary concern.  In affluent societies, our approach to social problems is to decrease their visibility.  The migration patters of Christians and their churches have again reflected the dominant social practice.  The church’s compassionless inactivity stems from being removed and out of touch with the suffering of the poor and exploited.  This modern isolation from human hurt is a major obstacle to being faithful to biblical mandates.  How can we open our hearts and lives to those whom we have hardly ever see, let alone ever known?

The biblical idea of love carries with it the deliberate extension of ourselves to others.  The incarnation, the supreme act of God’s love, required the intentional plunge of the Lord of Glory into the chaotic, violent, and rebellious human situation at tremendous cost (Phil. 2:6-11).  But this act brought the salvation of the world.  We cannot profess the name of Jesus without seeking to incarnate his pattern of self-emptying love and servanthood.  Again, this is not only an individual effort but a corporate one undertaken by a body of people who have given themselves over to Christ and his kingdom, to each other, and to serving in the midst of the broken world for which he died…

…The Gospel knows nothing of what sociologists call “upward mobility.”  In fact, the gospel of Jesus Christ call us to the reverse; the gospel calls us to a downward pilgrimage.  Former attachments and securities in the false values of wealth and power are left behind as we are empowered by the Holy Spirit to seek first the kingdom.  From an obscure birth in a dirty animal stable to the crucifixion of a poor suffering servant who never had a place to lay his head, the gospel witnesses to God’s identification with the poor and powerless.  Such a life of identification will bring rejection from the world, and if one becomes too prominent, one might even be crucified.  We may measure our obedience to the gospel by the degree of tension and conflict with the world that is present in our lives.  If our lives are secure, comfortable, and at home with wealth and power, we belong to the world rather than to Christ.

Our downward pilgrimage will drive us to community and is meant to take place in the context of a common shared life.  The life of the early Christian fellowships, as seen in the Book of Acts and elsewhere in Scripture, presents the Christian life as a common life, the life of a people more than the life of individuals.  Here were the ones who had known Jesus, had walked with him, talked with him, listened to him, and lived with him for three years.  They had seen him live and die and rise again from the dead.  They were eyewitnesses to the gospel.  They had both followed him and forsaken him.  Their lives had been decisively and irrevocably changed by him. He had set their feet upon a new path, and they would never be the same again…

If I'm going to follow Jesus, I'm never going to be the same again.  Let the downward pilgrimage begin - for the sake of the kingdom and broken world for which Christ died.

A Focusing Liturgy

Tom and Christine Sine at Mustard Seed Associates offer the following liturgy as a beginning to this new year...

A focusing liturgy

A new year is dawning and God is with us,

In its light may we see God’s light

In its sounds may we hear God’s voice

In its unfolding may we find God’s purpose.

(Pause for a time of reflection on the year that is past – this can be either silent reflection or if you are using this in a group you may take this opportunity for each person to share their personal reflections)

God we lay the old year down

Its fears and its anxieties, the broken places it exposed

God we lay them down

Its hurts and its failures, the pain it has exposed

God we lay them down

Its joy and its celebration, the love that has embraced us

God we lay them down

(Adapted from Psalm 139)

You have looked deep into our hearts O Lord,

You know all about us,

You know when we are resting and when we are working

From heaven your discover our thoughts

You notice everything we do and everywhere we go

Before we even speak you know what we will say

Nothing about us is hidden from you

Even before we were born you had written in your book what we would do

Everything you do is marvellous of this we have no doubt

We praise you for the wonderful way you created us

Your thoughts are precious to us O God!

Your purposes are far beyond our imagining.

Hebrews 12: 1 - 13

Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!

In this all-out match against sin, others have suffered far worse than you, to say nothing of what Jesus went through—all that bloodshed! So don't feel sorry for yourselves. Or have you forgotten how good parents treat children, and that God regards you as his children?

My dear child, don't shrug off God's discipline, but don't be crushed by it either.
It's the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects.
God is educating you; that's why you must never drop out. He's treating you as dear children. This trouble you're in isn't punishment; it's training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God's training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God's holy best. At the time, discipline isn't much fun. It always feels like it's going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it's the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God.

So don't sit around on your hands! No more dragging your feet! Clear the path for long-distance runners so no one will trip and fall, so no one will step in a hole and sprain an ankle. Help each other out. And run for it!

Our Father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name.  Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.  Give us this day our daily bread & forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us & lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil for thine is the kingdom & the power & the glory forever & ever Amen.

God a new year is dawning and you are with us

God you draw us into your presence

So that we can hear your voice

You ask us to listen

So that we can know your ways

You send us out to serve

So that we can be your people

God a new year is dawning and you are with us

Come down God of life

Fill us with you’re your love

Come in Christ of peace

Anoint us with your compassion

Come amongst us spirit of joy

Teach us to celebrate your ways

Go into the world this year

Knowing you have been touched by the triune God

Let your life shine with the love of God

Let your heart be transformed by the compassion of Christ

Let your ways be filled with the joy of the spirit

Amen

Kingdom Community Campers

Spent Sunday night and Monday in some version of the twilight zone.  My wife, dog, and I went camping with my brother-in-law and his girlfriend.  Due to a lack of inexpensive dog-friendly campgrounds in NJ, I searched high and low on the internet and found one that seemed to fit the bill (close, cheap, dogs welcome).  We packed up the gear, drove out toward the Jersey shore and set up shop at Old Cedar Campground.  My camping experience is mostly in state forests - kind of secluded, the occasional neighbor, good chance of deer and bears and other sordid critters.  Old Cedar Campground was not like my experience. 

Old Cedar Campground is a community of tent and RV dwellers who seem to spend the summer cooking on the Coleman stove, fishing in the fishing pond, swimming in the swimming hole, and occasionally venturing over to play suffle board or participate in "Brownbag Bingo" at the pavillion.  Confederate flags, pick-up trucks, mullets, beer-bellies, dogs, dirty children, dirtier teenagers, a petting zoo, the list could go on...and so we found ourselves in the middle of nowhere existing shoulder to shoulder with a culture of people who were unlike the norm.  And I loved it.  You can get the slightest glimpse of my new found love HERE.

What I loved most was this...there was a sense of community.  People said "hello" when they rode their bike by, they stopped in to let their dog sniff our dog, they offered us firewood, they chatted about the weather or the Indianapolis 500, they handled our cameras with care as they took our picture for posterity.  People were people...and we all lived on a level playing ground because we had all chosen to stay at Old Cedar Campground.  What you drove or how big your non-mobile home was or where you worked didn't matter.  "Attention Campers - we are at Old Cedar Campground and at Old Cedar Campground we are all campers."

And I got to thinking about the Kingdom of God and how Kingdom Community should be like Old Cedar Campground.  Christ-followers should extend themselves to each other, Christ-followers should serve each other, Christ-followers should exist in community where everyone is on level playing ground.  What you drive or wear or where you work shouldn't matter.  What should matter is that we have all chosen Jesus.  "Attention Christ-followers - we are a part of the Kingdom and as a part of the Kingdom we are all community."

Seclusion

I'm sitting in a ski lodge watching the high school students that I love and minister to wandering in and out as they take sporadic breaks from the slopes.  There is a group of students to my left playing poker, my wife is off to my right talking with some adults and a few students (it sounds like semi-serious stuff), and then over a bit is a guy and a girl (both high school seniors) intently engaged in a obviously "serious" conversation.  Here's my observation about these three groups of people.

Group #1 - The poker players
This group is experiencing true community and fellowship the way that they were created and called to experience community and fellowship.  They are laughing, sharing life together, talking stuff that matters to them, talking about stuff that doesn't matter so much to them.  Some of them have never talked to each other before...yet here they sit.  They are engaged in the game they are playing...more importantly they are engaged in each other's lives.  They are modeling church...they are fostering safety...they are growing close to God simply through the fact that they are growing close to each other.  This is good.

Group #2 - My wife and others in discussion
This group is also experiencing true community and fellowship.  They aren't laughing or having "fun", but they are thinking...they are debating...they are discussing.  In a way they have moved beyond the shallow and are dealing with some of the meatier stuff of life.  This is where vulnerability occurs...this is the sort of stuff that lays the ground work for the future...future sharing, future vulnerability, future ministering to each other.  This is good.

Group #3 - Guy and Girl
These two are fellowshipping with one another.  They are growing closer in their relationship.  They are having fun, they are laughing at times, they are thinking, debating, discussing.  On the surface, it appears that they are doing all of the same things that groups #1 and #2 are doing.  But I am unable to say "this is good" to their situation. 

Here's why...

They have been dating for about 3 weeks.  They are probably (I write are probably, but mean are) too emotionally and physically involved with each other.  They are like leeches...sucking the life out of each other.  They've been talked to...they've been challenged on their relationship with one another...they have not made any changes.  And they are missing out on the ture community and fellowship going on all around them.  They have alienated themselves.  They are so concerned with their own issues, their own conversation, their own selves, that they are missing out (and have missed out for the last 3 days) on the amazing things that God is doing relationally within the group of people who came skiing in the mountains.  And they are the only ones who don't see the danger in their seculsion.  It is not good.

And here's what I wonder...is that what the church has done...both to other churches and to the world?  Have we so secluded ourselves...have we so been caught up in our own issues, in our own conversations, in our own selves...that we've missed out on what God is doing in the world around us?  Have our conversations only centered on us?  Have we only grown closer in realtionship to those who think like us and pray like us and believe like us?

Are we willing to sit down at the poker table (so-to-speak) and laugh, play, talk to and understand people who are different than us...people who up until today may not have been our friends.  Are we willing to get into the meaty stuff when necessary?  Are we willing to engage with people to the extent that it causes vulnerability? 

Or are we so concerned with ourselves that we as the church (as the Body of Chirst) end up looking like a bunch of "in love" high school seniors?  And are we the only ones who don't see the danger of our seclusion?