Sacred Scarred

Advocate, Counselor, Helper, Friend

I've been asked by a number of my friends to share the "sermon" (read...short homily) that I gave as part of our Tuesday night Holy Week observance at Circle of Hope.  Here it is...(How to Create) An Awareness of the Holy Spirit (from our Suffering)...

A year ago, I blogged these words...
Passion week in and of itself is a busy week if nothing else.  Jesus teaches and talks, prays and walks, loves, gives, serves, eats, commands, invites, rebukes, laughs...and all this before a betrayal, an arrest, trials, beatings, mockings, and the horror of the cross.  There is a hurricane of activity that ends in the life of Jesus being taken. 

In the aftermath of the crucifixion there is confusion, there is fear, there is emotion, there is pain.  It is a mess.  And then the resurrection.  Life comes forth from death.  Joy comes forth from sorrow.  Hope comes forth from doubt.  Jesus comes forth from the grave.

Death on Friday.  Life on Sunday.  And a mess in between.  I believe that this world is a Saturday world.  It lives amidst the confusion and fear and emotion and pain.  It exists in the mess.  But resurrection is coming.  And we who understand the resurrection of Jesus have the opportunity to bring a glimpse of resurrection into lives lived in the mess.

On Easter Sunday I will board a plane bound for New Orleans.  I find this to be especially appropriate.  My reflections on the Cross and on the Resurrection this week have brought me to the point once again of wanting to take action.  I want to stand up for injustice.  I want to fight suffering.  I want to be the voice for those without a voice.  I want to take up a cross, commit my spirit into the hands of the Father, and die to myself in order to provide a glimpse of resurrection.

I got on a plane last Easter Sunday, filled with hope of the resurrection and anticipating the living out of a Sunday reality.  But though the trip to New Orleans was great in so many ways, life itself didn't play out how I hoped it would.  For the next number of weeks, my life slipped back to Saturday.  It was a mess.  Confusion, fear, emotion, pain.  Suffering.  I struggled with my calling, I struggled with apathy, I struggled with anger.  My life moved from hope to despair.

I felt like I imagine the disciples felt beginning in the Upper Room and continuing on through the crucifixion to the grave...where the hell is Jesus?  What the hell has happened?

And then one morning, I was sitting at a church service.  I was angry about what was being said.  I was angry about the rhetoric and the posturing.  I was asking those disciple-like questions...where the hell is Jesus?  What the hell has happened?  And in the midst of my suffering, the Holy Spirit came. 

For weeks on end, I had felt like no one was in my corner, like no one was giving me sound advice, like no one was lending me a hand, or being someone I could turn to.  And then the Holy Spirit came.  Well, I guess he was already there, but I finally recognized his presence.  At long last I had an Advocate, a Counselor, a Helper, a Friend.  I don't know how it works, it's a mystery, but the suffering eased and I knew clear as day what steps to take next.  Some of those steps were difficult, to be sure, but they were bearable because I had this awareness of the Holy Spirit walking with me into whatever was next.

Jesus knows that his disciples will suffer.  He tells them...

If the world hates you, be aware that it hated me first.  If you belonged to the world, the world would love you as its own.  However, you do not belong to the world, but I chose you out of th world, for this reason the world hates you.  Remember what I told you, "A slave is not greater than his master."  If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you.   If they obeyed my word, they will obey your words too.  But they will do all these things to you on account of my name, because they do not know the one who sent me.

But in his last words, he gives them hope...

But I tell you the truth, it is to your advantage that I am going away.  For if I do not go away, the Advocate [the Counselor, the Helper, the Friend] will not come to you, but if I go, I will send him to you.

Our suffering, both through this Lenten season, and in our lives should create in us an awareness of the Holy Spirit.  We are not suffering alone, the Holy Spirit goes with us toward what's next.

As this week closes, take the time to be aware of the Holy Spirit, coming to you in the midst of your suffering and going with you to what God has next.

Solitude

I've been reading Ruth Haley Barton's book Invitation to Silence and Solitude (book 11, week 11) as I've been reflecting on the discussion that my cell group had last week (if you're in my cell and want to borrow this book...it's a pretty good primer and I'm through with it).  While Barton writes about some very practical things with regard to silence and solitude (as she reflects on the story of Elijah and her own personal experience), it is her use of the words of others that intrigues me the most.  I just love what Rohr and Merton and Nouwen and Palmer and Bonhoeffer have to say on this subject...

So here's a sampling...

Richard Rohr:
"A good journey begins with knowing where we are and being willing to go somewhere else."

"In silence all of our usual patterns assault us...That is why most people give up rather quickly.  When Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, the first things to show up were the wild beasts."

Thomas Merton:
"Inner silence depends on a continual seeking, a continual crying int he night, a repeated bending over the abyss...For He is found when He is sought, and when He is no longer sought, He escapes us."

"The deepest level of communication is not communication but communion.  It is wordless.  It is beyond words, and beyond speech, and it is beyond concept."

Henri Nouwen:
"Solitude is the furnace of transformation...[It] is the place of the great struggle and great encounter - the struggle against the compulsions of the false self, and the encounter with the loving god who offers himself as the substance of the new self."

"Without solitude it is virtually impossible to live a spiritual life...We do not take the spiritual life seriously if we do not set aside time to be with God and listen to him."

Parker J. Palmer:
"Solitude eventually offers a quiet gift of grace, a gift that come whenever we are able to face ourselves honestly: the gift of acceptance, of compassion, for who we are as we are.  As we allow ourselves to known in solitude, we discover that we are known by love.  Beyond the pain of self-discovery there is a love that does not condemn us but calls us to itself.  This love receives us as we are."

Dietrich Bonhoeffer:
"Let him who cannot be alone beware of community...Let him who is not in community beware of being alone."

"Right speech comes out of silence, and right silence come out of speech."

Describe your personal experience with silence and solitude.  We learn from hearing about the journey of others.

Lonely, Alone, Solitude

Spent some time last night talking in our cell group about loneliness, being alone, and entering solitude.

We worked with the idea of loneliness.  The simple fact is that "waves" of loneliness come (sometimes in the biggest of crowds or the most "comfortable" of situations).  It is a real feeling - often self-focused and negative - but legitimate nonetheless.

We talked about fearing loneliness and fearing being alone and the addictions of the world that we turn to in order to hide from those fears...food, alcohol, serving others, video games, over-commitment, relationships.  We ventured into the idea that sometimes facing the fear is more valuable spiritually than hiding from it.

We talked about choosing to be alone (there are a number of "introverts" in our cell - including myself - who actually need to be alone in order to recharge).  Sometimes we choose to be alone for the sake of escaping people and situations (this is not always good).  Sometimes we choose to be alone because the space is simply needed (this is usually good).  This being alone is intentional but usually not spiritual.

We batted around the idea of solitude.  Solitude is neither loneliness nor being alone.  If loneliness is an inner state that is often, but not always, an unwanted feeling, and being alone is an action whereby we physically remove ourselves from the presence of other people...solitude is something altogether different.  Solitude is an inner state of being where we experience (or seek to experience) the real presence of God.  We can experience solitude both amongst people (because it is an inner state) and away from people while we are alone.

The key to dealing with the negative aspects of loneliness is to practice solitude when the feelings of loneliness are not present.  When we learn to meet God in solitude (both around people and alone), we are able to find God when the feelings of loneliness occur and we are able to turn to God instead of the world's addictions.

Do you welcome solitude?  Do you actively practice it?  Or do you miss out on experiencing God's presence because you are afraid of loneliness or being alone?

Practice solitude.  Choose to meet God.  When we actively do this, it becomes easier to find God in our loneliness and we realize that we are never truly alone (even when we're by ourselves).

The desert is where you go apart from the world order as it is.  It's where you simply stop being trapped in the world's addictive patterns.  If you are addicted to the world's or your own patterns, you really need to go apart; otherwise you'll never stop sleepwalking...What Jesus is talking about, first and foremost, is how do you enter into the real Now.  Jesus gives us "real eyes" to "realize" where the "Real lies."

~ Richard Rohr, Jesus' Plan for a New World

Conceptions and Births

Conception.

When sperm collides with egg it becomes something different, something new...coming together in a unique way...no longer just sperm and egg...a new and living thing called baby is conceived.  There is groaning, distress, but after a relatively short time, there is actual birth - pain and joy intermixed.  Life has existed since conception, but with birth, a baby emerges into the world and takes it by storm.  That is beautiful.

Tonight, a new cell will be conceived in a way. 

People will collide with each other, becoming something different, something new...coming face to face for the first time...no longer just friends or acquaintances or strangers...a new and living thing called cell will be conceived.  There will be groaning, distress, but after a relatively short time, there will be a birth of sorts - pain and joy intermixed.  Life will begin tonight with conception, but with birth, this cell will emerge into the world and take it by storm.  That will be beautiful.

The Lenten season marks a conception as well.

We begin to remember Jesus colliding with the powers of death, becoming something different, something new...coming to the earth and the cross...no longer just a promise and a hope...a new and living thing called love is conceived.  There is groaning, distress, and after a relatively short time, there is a birth of sorts - pain and joy intermixed.  Life began with conception (the cross), but with birth (the resurrection), this love emerged into the world and took it by storm.  That was beautiful.